Do you understand the messages you are sending with your eyes and how they impact your thriving? You may undermine your influence by focusing more on your electronic device or by looking down when you are forming your answer. If you hold direct eye contact you will come across as confident in your position (or whatever you are discussing), while if you pause and shift your gaze downward you will communicate weakness or disinterest. Also, if you continually focus on your phone or electronic tablet during a meeting, you will convey that the people in the room are not that important; this is magnified if you are a leader. I have coached executives on the message they are sending (“you’re not as important”) when they pay more attention to their phone/tablet than the person (or people) sitting in front of them. This Wall Street Journal article, “Just Look Me in the Eye Already” is a great quick read that explains how important eye contact is, especially in our increasingly virtual environment. Also, note the warnings about holding eye contact too long (to avoid the creepy look).
How will you use your eyes to thrive more this week? Please share your experience in a comment.
photo credit: Flicker creative commons, LifeSuperCharger
Wow Paula–This was spot on. Eye contact is very important to me, especially when I’m having a conversation with someone and they’re constantly checking their phones for new messages. It’s rude, it’s distracting and gives a message that they’re not very interested. I think that all devices should be turned off for meetings, so everyone can focus on business at hand. Nothing is that important that it can’t wait an hour or two. Loved the Wall Street Journal article too.
Thanks for your sharing, Isadora! I’ve found that it works well for the group to set ground rules around what is acceptable in the use of electronic devices so that all are in agreement. It may be perfectly fine to step out of the room if there is a critical communication required. The key is to agree upon it ahead of time instead of assuming and then sending a message you did not intend.