I worked through a stressful situation with a client once that I could empathize with all too well. It was her pile. The pile itself was not the cause of her stress, it was all of her thoughts about the pile. “What is in there that I should have taken care of?” “How am I going to deal with it if I am late on something in that pile?” “What problems are lurking in that pile that I have […]
One of the most powerful things I learned from my Coach training was how to look at my day to day habits and/or activities and identify what is sapping my energy. It sounds obvious enough, but you know how easy it is to get into “auto” mode in your daily routine. If you don’t pay attention, next thing you know it is Friday and the whole week as gone by and you wonder, “How did I get here?” Or […]
One of the areas that I talk about in my coaching and negotiations workshops is the power of language and how switching a few words in your communications or thoughts can have a big impact on thriving. Here are some of my favorites: Instead of saying, “I don’t care” say, “I am not attached (to that opinion, that idea, etc…)” Shift your thinking from, “I have to….” to “I get to….” Rather than say, “You should do….” say, “What […]
You know when it happens, you get that icky sinking feeling. Or for a really big one, you feel the slime of shame moving over you. The dreaded mistake, embarrassing oversight or error in judgement. It is bad enough in the moment, even worse is that it can come back again and again just by thinking about it, weeks, months or even years later! Yikes! How do you thrive through such horrible mistakes? Here are some tips. Shift to […]
Your ability to be likable can make a big difference in your thriving at work and at home. And this does not mean you are that guy that has no guts to say anything, goes along with whatever you say and then is passive aggressive later (you know he is more slippery than likable). I came across this article, “6 Habits of Remarkable Likable People” on INC’s web site and loved Jeff Haden’s points, especially about how to ask […]
In order to thrive, relationships are key and in both personal and business relationships, empathy is the skill you cannot be without. In my prior post from last October, “The Most Impactful Skill for Negotiating Agreement” (linked) I wrote about how understanding of the other person’s perspective/position is crucial for influencing the outcome and it is more impactful if this understanding is obtained prior to selling your own position. Adding to this, beyond the negotiating table, if you grow […]
It is so easy to hate that guy that drives you crazy with his right-wing remarks about how everyone should own a semi-automatic gun or that liberal who keeps saying that no one should ever own a gun or have even more justified hate toward that crazy guy who went on a shooting spree and killed so many innocent people and it so easy to feel deep hatred toward those evil Taliban people spreading their atrocities against innocent people […]
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou What would you include in your life mission that takes you from surviving to thriving? I like Maya’s ideas and I’d add some fun and creativity in there too. Give yourself some time this week to think about what you want in your life and work to continue or increase […]
How are you doing/feeling? Compared to last week, yesterday, last month, last year; are you worse, the same or better? Comparisons to others are dangerous and draining, but I always encourage my clients to compare to themselves to assess where they are on their journey of thriving or after their latest negotiation or completion of a big project. Was the result about the same, worse or better than the last negotiation or project? If not better then what would […]
I was reminded this week of a term we used in my prior corporate days: “KISS-Keep It Simple Stupid!” “It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee In my Coach training I went through a process of looking at all the things during my day (both personal and work time) that I “tolerated.” The challenge was to come up with 100 of these things that did not add to my […]
