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	<title>Executive Coaching Archives -</title>
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		<title>Stalled Progress: Why Corporate America is Backsliding on Women in Leadership—and How to Fix It</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/stalled-progress-why-corporate-america-is-backsliding-on-women-in-leadership-and-how-to-fix-it/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Feb 2026 21:41:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Team Success Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women Leaders]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=3940</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>This lack of progress is disheartening. I was fortunate to benefit from one of the ways to fix it: having a sponsor who can help open doors (see below). I know this made a difference for me in moving up to a higher level of leadership. While women have made significant gains over the last... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/stalled-progress-why-corporate-america-is-backsliding-on-women-in-leadership-and-how-to-fix-it/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/stalled-progress-why-corporate-america-is-backsliding-on-women-in-leadership-and-how-to-fix-it/">Stalled Progress: Why Corporate America is Backsliding on Women in Leadership—and How to Fix It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This lack of progress is disheartening. I was fortunate to benefit from one of the ways to fix it: having a sponsor who can help open doors (see below). I know this made a difference for me in moving up to a higher level of leadership.</p>
<p>While women have made significant gains over the last decade, <strong>only half of companies are now prioritizing women’s career advancement</strong>, reflecting a multi-year decline in commitment to gender diversity. This lack of focus is having a measurable impact: women remain underrepresented at every level of the pipeline, with representation in the <strong>C-suite stuck at just 29 percent</strong>.</p>
<p>To turn the tide in 2026, organizations must move beyond slogans and address the systemic barriers that are currently rolling back progress.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>The Persistence of the &#8220;Broken Rung&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The primary obstacle to a diverse leadership pipeline remains the <strong>“broken rung” at the first step up to manager</strong>. For every 100 men promoted to manager in 2025, <strong>only 93 women were promoted</strong>, and the gap is even wider for women of color. Because men significantly outnumber women at the manager level from the start, women can never catch up, leaving the leadership pipeline depleted at every subsequent level. This gap is not due to a lack of dedication; the research shows that women and men are <strong>equally committed to their careers</strong>, yet women receive less of the critical support needed to advance.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>The Hidden Barriers: Sponsorship and Stigma</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Two critical factors are widening the gap between male and female advancement:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>The Sponsorship Gap: </strong>Employees with sponsors are <strong>nearly twice as likely to be promoted</strong>, yet women—especially at the entry level—are significantly less likely to have an advocate in senior leadership who can open doors.</li>
<li><strong>Flexibility Stigma: </strong>The survey data shows that women who work remotely are <strong>1.5 times less likely to be promoted</strong> than those who work on-site, even though men are promoted at similar rates regardless of their location. This suggests that women are disproportionately penalized by the unfounded belief that flexible work equals lower commitment.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>A Roadmap for Organizational Change</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>How to improve results? Organizations can adopt three key strategies:</p>
<p><strong> 1. </strong><strong>Ensure Hiring and Promotions are Merit-Based</strong>Companies must implement a comprehensive set of research-backed practices rather than isolated initiatives. This includes <strong>setting clear evaluation criteria before the process begins</strong>, anonymizing resumes, and using quantifiable measures (like 1-to-5 ratings) to reduce subjectivity. When clear criteria are used, subjective, biased comments about women in performance reviews have been shown to drop from <strong>14% to just 1%</strong>.</p>
<p><strong> 2. </strong><strong>Prioritize Development </strong>Managers are the primary drivers of an employee&#8217;s day-to-day experience, yet many lack the time to focus on development. Organizations should <strong>free up managers from routine tasks</strong>to allow them to spend more time coaching their teams. Training is also essential; when managers are trained to provide specific, actionable feedback and to <strong>distribute stretch assignments fairly</strong>, team motivation and performance rise.</p>
<p><strong> 3. </strong><strong>Foster Authentic Sponsorship and Community</strong>Formal sponsorship programs are vital for giving women access to senior-level advocates. Beyond formal programs, organizations can <strong>strengthen Employee Resource Groups (ERGs)</strong>to provide the informal mentorship and professional advice that women often miss out on. In 2025, <strong>91% of the companies surveyed</strong> <strong>are maintaining or scaling up their ERGs</strong> to build the community and empathy necessary for an inclusive culture.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>The Bottom Line</strong></p>
<p>Limiting women in leadership isn&#8217;t only a diversity issue; it&#8217;s a <strong>financial one</strong>. Women leaders drive higher employee engagement and better performance, saving their organizations an estimated <strong>$1.43 million for every 1,000 employees</strong> through reduced disengagement. As we move forward in 2026, the companies that recommit to women&#8217;s advancement and leverage AI to root out bias will be the ones that win the war for talent.</p>
<p>I love working with strong and successful women in how they can move up and in how all organizational leaders can improve their financial results by increasing the number of women in leadership. Reach out about how I can support scaling your Employee Resource Group (ERG) for more impact or in how I can help share the business case for creating an ERG.</p>
<p>These are the resources for this post, click on the links to learn more:</p>
<p><em>Resources:</em></p>
<p><a href="https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leanin.org 11th Annual Report 2025: Women In The Workplace</a></p>
<p><a href="https://hbr.org/2022/03/when-women-leaders-leave-the-losses-multiply" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HBR Article: When Women Leaders Leave the Losses Multiply</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/stalled-progress-why-corporate-america-is-backsliding-on-women-in-leadership-and-how-to-fix-it/">Stalled Progress: Why Corporate America is Backsliding on Women in Leadership—and How to Fix It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS® Executive Coach: Letting Go &#038; Building the New!</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-executive-coach-letting-go-building-the-new/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2018 17:46:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2989</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>My brain so easily goes to what is wrong, what didn&#8217;t happen, what I didn&#8217;t do, what I don&#8217;t have&#8230;Even after learning that this is a natural neurological &#8220;downward spiral&#8221; that the brain/mind is prone to do I can&#8217;t stop it nor my frustration with myself that I am doing it again. It is better.... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-executive-coach-letting-go-building-the-new/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-executive-coach-letting-go-building-the-new/">internalGPS® Executive Coach: Letting Go &#038; Building the New!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2994 size-large" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/fullsizeoutput_17b5-1024x717.jpeg" alt="" width="1024" height="717" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/fullsizeoutput_17b5-1024x717.jpeg 1024w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/fullsizeoutput_17b5-300x210.jpeg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/fullsizeoutput_17b5-768x538.jpeg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/fullsizeoutput_17b5.jpeg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" />My brain so easily goes to what is wrong, what didn&#8217;t happen, what I didn&#8217;t do, what I don&#8217;t have&#8230;Even after learning that this is a natural neurological &#8220;downward spiral&#8221; that the brain/mind is prone to do I can&#8217;t stop it nor my frustration with myself that I am doing it again.</p>
<p>It is better. Better than last month and even better than last year.</p>
<p>And I let go. I let go of unrealistic expectations that I should be able to eliminate it completely, that I should be better since I know better, that I should have done that or completed this by now.</p>
<p>This letting go is key. If I don&#8217;t do it intentionally then it keeps me from moving forward, it keeps me stuck.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m focused on letting go of the &#8220;shoulds&#8221; that come up in my internalGPS® and the comparisons with others too, only comparing with where I am to where I was and where I want to be.</p>
<p>After intentionally noticing and then letting go of the spiral, I replace it with what I want (or ask myself what I want if it&#8217;s not clear).</p>
<p>The quote by Socrates inspired this mantra that I&#8217;m using to replace my mind&#8217;s downward spiral when it pops up:</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I am focused and energized on building the new!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Here&#8217;s to letting go of the fight and building the new for you!</strong></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-executive-coach-letting-go-building-the-new/">internalGPS® Executive Coach: Letting Go &#038; Building the New!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS® Professional Coach: How Story Making Is Scary</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-how-story-making-is-scary/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Mar 2017 23:05:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2899</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Have you noticed how story telling is everywhere now? I think the marketing gurus and politicians all figured out how we are hard wired for patterns and patterns are stories. I love a good one too, what I don&#8217;t love is how my brain (or mind) can immediately make up a story that is not... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-how-story-making-is-scary/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-how-story-making-is-scary/">internalGPS® Professional Coach: How Story Making Is Scary</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2511" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story--300x300.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story--300x300.jpg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story--150x150.jpg 150w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story--768x768.jpg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story--1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/QuoteImages-ReWrite-Story-.jpg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Have you noticed how story telling is everywhere now? I think the marketing gurus and politicians all figured out how we are hard wired for patterns and patterns are stories.</p>
<p>I love a good one too, what I don&#8217;t love is how my brain (or mind) can immediately make up a story that is not based on any real fact and then the especially sneaky thing is that I get rewarded with a shot of dopamine for that story whether it is true or not. The neurologists explain this as our brain loving patterns that appear to keep us safe and secure.</p>
<p>The neurologic science of this is fascinating, we are rewarded chemically for something that we just completely made up. It&#8217;s an example of how our deeper &#8220;wiring&#8221; has not caught up with our quickly changing world. The mind&#8217;s story telling and physiological chemical reward are from a time when as humans we needed them for protection and safety. Unfortunately, now they&#8217;re more of a disservice in misleading us.</p>
<p>This is especially true when faced with a vacuum of information, rather than be left wondering or wandering in uncertainty, I&#8217;ll make up a story to give me a feeling of control where there really is none. Now that I&#8217;m aware of this, I recognize it and if it&#8217;s with another person, I&#8217;ll start the conversation with them by saying, &#8220;<em>The story I&#8217;m making up about</em> your lack of getting back to me is that I&#8217;m a low priority to you, is that true?&#8221; or something like that. The big difference is that instead of accusing them, I&#8217;m asking with genuine curiosity and recognition that I am making up the story and I want to understand the truth.</p>
<p>Or a more simplified story is made up to create a feeling of security and understanding when the issue is too complex and overwhelming to comprehend. For example, terrorism: it is a complicated challenge that can not be boiled down to good guys and bad guys and yet it is so enticing to believe that peace can be won by just getting rid of the bad guys or removing that one political regime when the reality is that the issue cannot be put into compartmentalized boxes with neat packaging that can be removed and then all is well. The same can be said for a toxic organizational culture. It is complicated. It takes work and time and a lot of smart people to change it.</p>
<p>It takes learning new skills and practice to recognize, shift and re-write the stories your mind wants to naturally make up and believe.</p>
<p>Get curious about your stories and the possibly messy complicated truth which is where you really want to go to move forward.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-how-story-making-is-scary/">internalGPS® Professional Coach: How Story Making Is Scary</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS® Professional Coach: One Little Thing for Big Improvements</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-one-little-thing-for-big-improvements/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 25 Feb 2017 22:01:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business coaching]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2891</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I know it sounds too good to be true, just one little thing and it will give me big improvements? Really?!  Yes, I just did it yesterday. I was stuck. In traffic. It was ugly. No way to escape the jam of autos. I could feel my blood pressure starting to rise, my shoulders tensing.... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-one-little-thing-for-big-improvements/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-one-little-thing-for-big-improvements/">internalGPS® Professional Coach: One Little Thing for Big Improvements</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I know it sounds too good to be true, just one little thing and it will give me big improvements? Really?!  Yes, I just did it yesterday. I was stuck. In traffic. It was ugly. No way to escape the jam of autos. I could feel my blood pressure starting to rise, my shoulders tensing. Ugh! Then I remembered what I share with my clients (whenever I say it I am thinking about how I am saying it to remind myself too), <em>remember to pause</em>.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-2893 alignright" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/7007249860_695fc4e839_k-205x300.jpg" alt="" width="205" height="300" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/7007249860_695fc4e839_k-205x300.jpg 205w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/7007249860_695fc4e839_k-768x1126.jpg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/7007249860_695fc4e839_k-699x1024.jpg 699w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/7007249860_695fc4e839_k.jpg 1091w" sizes="(max-width: 205px) 100vw, 205px" /></p>
<p>If I can <em>pause and notice my reaction then I can decide if this reaction is serving me or hindering me</em>.</p>
<p>To add to the tension of being stuck in traffic, my phone was dead. There was no way to call and talk to anyone or do a quick look at my e-mails while I was sitting there. And my frustration was increasing as I thought about the time going by that was taking away from my time to re-group when I arrived home before rushing off to my next appointment. Thankfully, <em>in the pause</em>, I recognized that I had my time right here, in the car, I could do some deep breathing and regroup sitting here while I waited for the traffic to eventually clear.</p>
<p>It was more productive to focus on my breath and my gratitude than the tension filled chatter in my head of how the traffic/city engineers needed to fix the very poorly timed lights of this intersection or that I wish I&#8217;d remembered my phone power car plug so that I could be making a phone call during this time, etc&#8230;</p>
<p>Oh the chatter that the mind can create! It&#8217;s amazing. But, <em>when I pause, I notice it and can decide if the automatic judgements that pop up are serving me.</em></p>
<p>I shifted out of judgement about messed up intersection light timing to gratitude that I was not inconveniencing anyone because I had the time before my next appointment. And even if this traffic was going to cause me to be late, how would being tense about it help the situation?</p>
<p>This little pause resulted in an extra few minutes of powerful breathing in the moment and then going on with my routine with a smile on my face. In prior times, when I didn&#8217;t pause, I would have had a scowl and may have even let it ruin my mood for a while or the rest of the day or arrived later so frazzled that I then had to take more time to unwind before becoming productive.</p>
<p>What a difference the little pause of self awareness has made for me in my moods, work productivity and relationships. It is life changing. <strong>Here&#8217;s to you finding your pause of self awareness and its power to improve your work and life. </strong></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-professional-coach-one-little-thing-for-big-improvements/">internalGPS® Professional Coach: One Little Thing for Big Improvements</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS® Coach: Advice From the Dying &#8211; Live True to Yourself</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-advice-from-the-dying-live-true-to-yourself/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Jan 2017 23:14:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2832</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>One of the ways I love to help clients is coaching them on how to make better choices on which way to go next. &#8220;Do I go find another job or work to make this one better?&#8221; &#8220;Which choice do I make to invest and grow my business?&#8221; &#8220;Should I go back to school and get an advanced degree?&#8221;... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-advice-from-the-dying-live-true-to-yourself/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-advice-from-the-dying-live-true-to-yourself/">internalGPS® Coach: Advice From the Dying &#8211; Live True to Yourself</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2834 size-medium" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8346-300x118.jpg" width="300" height="118" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8346-300x118.jpg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8346-768x303.jpg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8346-1024x403.jpg 1024w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8346.jpg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></p>
<p>One of the ways I love to help clients is coaching them on how to make better choices on which way to go next.</p>
<p>&#8220;Do I go find another job or work to make this one better?&#8221; &#8220;Which choice do I make to invest and grow my business?&#8221; &#8220;Should I go back to school and get an advanced degree?&#8221; &#8220;Can I really afford to retire and if I can, do I really want to?&#8221;</p>
<p>And I share similar questions for myself: <em>should I keep up the hustle with finding more business or go back to a job working for someone else? Where do I want to spend my time to achieve my goals/dreams and have good balance between working hard and having fun?</em></p>
<p>I ask clients and remind myself to consider these choices from a place of,</p>
<blockquote><p><strong><em>what do I truly want, not what others expect or say that I can (or should) or can&#8217;t (or shouldn&#8217;t) do, from a place of feeling into my heart and gut and listening to my own voice of what is true for me? </em></strong></p></blockquote>
<p>One of the ways I keep this at the front and center for me is I have these <a href="https://www.amazon.com/The-Top-Five-Regrets-Dying/dp/140194065X/ref=as_at?creativeASIN=140194065X&amp;linkCode=w50&amp;tag=greatist-20&amp;imprToken=ph8UgH09cMoY8NcL5qmcOQ&amp;slotNum=0" target="_blank" rel="noopener">&#8220;Top Five Regrets of the Dying&#8221; </a> (from the book, linked) posted on my refrigerator (where I&#8217;ll see it multiple times a day). Bronnie Ware, a nurse and author of the book, worked with many dying patients and heard these same regrets over and over again:</p>
<ol>
<li>Courage to live true to myself</li>
<li>Don&#8217;t work too hard</li>
<li>Courage to express my feelings</li>
<li>Stay in touch with friends</li>
<li>Choose happiness</li>
</ol>
<p>That first one is the focus of this post and stay tuned for more on the others in later posts.</p>
<p><strong><em>How do I  have the courage to live true to myself?</em> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Get clear on your values</strong></p>
<p>In The Daring Way<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> and Rising Strong<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-weight: inherit;">workshops that I facilitate there is an exercise/tool to help clarify your two most important values that will help light the way. Click <a href="https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;site=imghp&amp;tbm=isch&amp;source=hp&amp;biw=1530&amp;bih=700&amp;q=%22values+list%22&amp;oq=%22values+list%22&amp;gs_l=img.3..0l2j0i30k1l2j0i5i30k1l6.2536.5797.0.6311.13.13.0.0.0.0.162.1177.9j3.12.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..1.11.1101.eXav47Os2O8" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> to see lists of values to choose from, pick your top 10, then narrow to five, finally two. There&#8217;s no right or wrong values on these lists, it comes down to what you need to have in your life on a regular basis to feel alive. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-weight: inherit;">I&#8217;ve re-assessed the list over the years and always come back to my top two: making a difference and connection. If I don&#8217;t have these in my life in some form or fashion then things are not good. Once the values are clear, I ask clients (and myself), <em>is this choice going to take you closer or further away from practicing your values?</em></span></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Pay attention</span></strong></p>
<p>When I&#8217;m rushing from item to item on my to-do list and they&#8217;re all swirling around in my head I miss things/clues. Things like recognizing that my heart is beating a bit faster and I&#8217;m feeling dread when I have to do a particular task and that task is something that I&#8217;m doing out of obligation that later causes resentment instead of out of responsibility that later causes me to feel good that I helped. Or I&#8217;m doing something just to prove that I can rather than what I really want.</p>
<p>When I&#8217;m centered and paying attention or being mindful, I catch the more subtle clues in myself and in others. I notice that I&#8217;m pushing forward on a task that may not be aligned with my values and stop to assess whether I need to change course.</p>
<p>For me, in order to be centered enough to pay attention, I need regular meditation and exercise time, with out them, I stop paying attention and start missing clues that I&#8217;m veering off course from living true to myself. <em>What habits can you put in place to help you pay more attention to be true to yourself?</em></p>
<p><strong>Explore with Curiosity &amp; Rise Strong</strong></p>
<p>One of the good things about getting older is I know more of what I<em> don&#8217;t</em> like/want, often through trial and error. It takes exploration to find out if it&#8217;s true to myself or not. If I don&#8217;t even give it a try then how am I to know if it is or isn&#8217;t? Sometimes you just gotta take that leap. Then the key is to be okay with it <em>not</em> working out because that becomes data on what is <em>not</em> true for me. Learn from it and move on, take another leap.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s easy to say or type this, but <em>how do you have the courage to do it over and over again: leap, fall or soar, learn, leap again?</em> I love the process that Brené Brown shares from her years of research in her book, <a href="http://brenebrown.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Rising Strong</em>,</a> and in the workshop I facilitate by the same name.</p>
<p>I know that doing this challenging work keeps me from looking back from my death bed thinking, <em>I wish I&#8217;d had the courage to try that&#8230;</em>And not one of those regrets from the dying is about taking the easier or more certain paths. Well, maybe the one about not working so hard, I&#8217;ll explain that one more in the next post&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>What will you do today to courageously live true to yourself?</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-advice-from-the-dying-live-true-to-yourself/">internalGPS® Coach: Advice From the Dying &#8211; Live True to Yourself</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS® Coaching: Letting Go &#038; Rising Strong™</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coaching-letting-go-rising-strong/</link>
					<comments>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coaching-letting-go-rising-strong/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:10:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2659</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I make it a tradition every year to let something go; it&#8217;s more fun and productive than those crazy resolutions. I gave those up a long time ago, thank God. Things I&#8217;ve let go of in the past: &#8220;Being a runner&#8221; No running for me, if you have that runner&#8217;s high then more power to... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coaching-letting-go-rising-strong/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coaching-letting-go-rising-strong/">internalGPS® Coaching: Letting Go &#038; Rising Strong™</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2574" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8164-300x130.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="130" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8164-300x130.jpg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8164-768x333.jpg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8164-1024x445.jpg 1024w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/IMG_8164.jpg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><br />
I make it a tradition every year to let something go; it&#8217;s more fun and productive than those crazy resolutions. I gave those up a long time ago, thank God.</p>
<p>Things I&#8217;ve let go of in the past:</p>
<ul>
<li>&#8220;Being a runner&#8221; No running for me, if you have that runner&#8217;s high then more power to you, I&#8217;m a bit envious!</li>
<li>Diet coke. I used to drink it a lot, starting first thing in the morning. Oh it makes me cringe just to think about it now.</li>
<li>&#8220;Being a golfer&#8221; I have a set of really old clubs sitting in my garage, a friend gave them to me when I was attempting to be this. Anyone want them? Be warned that when I took lessons a few years back the Golf Pro wouldn&#8217;t let me use them. I think he was embarrassed.</li>
</ul>
<p>It&#8217;s interesting to me that two of the three are physical sporting activities&#8230;I do exercise, really. I just let go of those activities; they were taking up space in my head with guilt: <em>I should be running, walking is too easy, why can&#8217;t I run enough to get that &#8220;high&#8221; I hear about, all I get is pain and torture, golf is a good way to connect and network, it&#8217;s so pretty out there on those golf courses, I should want to do this, but I don&#8217;t.</em></p>
<p>Letting them go gives me a lightness, a space for better things to show up. And losing the Diet Coke helps my body operate better. A while back, I decided to drink one. It had been years! I got a terrible stomach ache right after I drank it, I kid you not. Was that stomach ache really due to the Diet Coke? Who cares, what matters is that my body is better off without that habit.</p>
<p>I give myself permission to try something I gave up because if I tell myself that I have to give it up <em>forever</em> then I want it more. I know that&#8217;s a psychological psyching-myself-out-thing that a <em>Coaching Professional</em> should be above. The sad state of affairs is that I&#8217;m not above anything. I wish.</p>
<p>This year, 2017, I&#8217;m giving up my Need-To-Be-Liked or NTBL. As an efficient (lazy) typist, it&#8217;s easier to use the letters: NTBL. As a <em>Coaching Professional  </em>and someone old enough to prefer dancing to 70&#8217;s-80&#8217;s music, you&#8217;d think I&#8217;m above and beyond this pesky need. I wish.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m working on it and with some people my NTBL is no problem at all (who cares about <em>them</em>!). Others show me that I still have work to do. In 2017 I&#8217;m setting it free. No more NTBL for me!</p>
<p>One of the ways this is already clearing space for me is allowing me to write from my true voice.</p>
<p>The story I told myself was, <em>I am a Coaching Professional and I am writing these posts to impart my learning and wisdom to you, dear reader, and you will like me for it and some of you will even love me for it. </em></p>
<p>What a load of &#8220;sheet!&#8221;</p>
<p>I&#8217;m much happier and better by <em>not</em> writing for <em>anyone&#8217;s</em> approval/liking/love, <em>especially</em> not people I&#8217;ve made up in my head.</p>
<p>The story-telling stopped and I got clear on what I really want and who I really am. I learned this process of noticing the story and shifting to be more authentic from <a href="http://brenebrown.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Brené Brown </a>in Rising Strong<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />, see the link below for this cool workshop that I get to facilitate.</p>
<p>I like to write. Sometimes it&#8217;s really difficult and painful, but even then I feel compelled to do it. Writing makes me pay more attention. I notice things and think, <em>oh, I could write a good post about that!</em> It&#8217;s also my creative release, I miss it when I&#8217;m not doing it.</p>
<p>And, I want to share what I&#8217;m learning and I&#8217;d love for you to learn something, see a different perspective or maybe just laugh. It&#8217;s all good. And I don&#8217;t need your approval/liking/love of my posts, letting go of my NTBL!</p>
<p><em><strong>What will you </strong></em><strong>let g</strong><strong>o of </strong><em><strong>as we go into 2017? Share in a comment and I&#8217;ll cheer you on! </strong></em></p>
<p>And I want to share the powerful work that I&#8217;m doing that may benefit you, here&#8217;s how I&#8217;m showing up in the Phoenix area in the next couple weeks:</p>
<p>1/12/17 &#8211; Career Connectors Speech: &#8220;<strong>Using Your internalGPS<sup>®</sup> to Rise Strong&#8221;</strong> &#8211; Open to all, register by clicking <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/scottsdale-how-to-use-your-internalgps-to-rise-strong-hiring-allstate-varsity-tutors-tech-findershr-tickets-30133956475?ref=ebapi" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HERE</a></p>
<p>1/21/17 &#8211;<strong> Rising Strong<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> 1-day Workshop</strong> &#8211; Limited to eight fabulous people &#8211; Click <a href="http://www.pathwaysofgrace.com/rising-strong-workshop.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HERE</a> to register, as of this writing, a few spots are open!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coaching-letting-go-rising-strong/">internalGPS® Coaching: Letting Go &#038; Rising Strong™</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS®  Coach: Finding Your Daring Way In Tumultuous Times</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-daring-way-in-tumultuous-times/</link>
					<comments>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-daring-way-in-tumultuous-times/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Nov 2016 19:20:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Daring Greatly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Focus]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2491</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>It is a challenging time in our US political space; how do you stay centered and courageous in the midst of (this or other) turmoil? I often think of Steven Covey&#8217;s &#8220;circles of influence, concern&#8221; that I learned about decades ago. It gives me a way to let go of the frustration/anxiety with things that... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-daring-way-in-tumultuous-times/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-daring-way-in-tumultuous-times/">internalGPS®  Coach: Finding Your Daring Way In Tumultuous Times</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2495" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/IMG_6585-225x300.jpg" alt="img_6585" width="225" height="300" />It is a challenging time in our US political space; how do you stay centered and courageous in the midst of (this or other) turmoil? I often think of Steven Covey&#8217;s &#8220;<a href="http://uthscsa.edu/gme/documents/Circles.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">circles of influence, concern</a>&#8221; that I learned about decades ago. It gives me a way to let go of the frustration/anxiety with things that are out of my span of influence and re-focus on those things that I can influence or control, like voting.</p>
<p>Here are some other resources that help me continue to find my daring way and I hope they help you:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Empathy</strong> &#8211; Listening with empathy, <strong>especially if you disagree</strong>. <a href="http://brenebrown.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dr. Brene Brown&#8217;s</a> research gives these attributes of practicing empathy and she emphasizes that it is a <em>practice (meaning: doing it, messing up, doing it again)</em>: 1. Perspective taking: Take <em>their</em> perspective, reflecting back your understanding of their view, not reiterating my own views, 2. Stay out of judgment: this can be challenging if you think their view is wrong or a polar opposite of yours, 3. Recognize their emotion: notice what they are feeling, 4. Communicate emotion: Reflect back with your own feelings (&#8220;It is challenging/frustrating/painful&#8221;) 5. Mindfulness: Stay in the present moment with full attention to the feelings that are arising and not going to the past or future.</li>
<li><strong>Do something helpful for someone else</strong>. Last week I had some turmoil swirling around in my head and it all went away when I focused on helping a friend with a challenge. I felt refreshed and at peace. Positive psychology research has scientifically shown how acts of kindness, generosity or support of others rewire your brain. And I love how the Dalai Lama and Arthur Brooks articulate this in this <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/04/opinion/dalai-lama-behind-our-anxiety-the-fear-of-being-unneeded.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NY Times editorial.</a></li>
<li><strong>Ask for what you need</strong>. And for me, and for many of you I suspect, it is easier to offer support rather than ask for it. It can be as simple as asking a friend to take a break from bringing up the political challenges in discussions for a while. I asked him to talk to his other friends about it as it just wasn&#8217;t helpful for me to rehash the same issues again and it was bringing me down.</li>
</ul>
<p><em><strong>How do you continue to courageously find your way in the midst of turmoil? I&#8217;d love your insights in a comment here! </strong></em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-daring-way-in-tumultuous-times/">internalGPS®  Coach: Finding Your Daring Way In Tumultuous Times</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS®  Coach: How to Be Powerful and Classy</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-how-to-be-powerful-and-classy/</link>
					<comments>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-how-to-be-powerful-and-classy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Jun 2015 21:10:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2463</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I read this Wired article, &#8220;Taylor Swift Is The Queen Of The Internet&#8221; last week and it inspired me to write this post. Here are four steps to program your internaGPS® to be powerful and classy: 1. Own Your Value and Power You have power through your character (confidence, trust, authenticity, integrity) and power that... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-how-to-be-powerful-and-classy/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-how-to-be-powerful-and-classy/">internalGPS®  Coach: How to Be Powerful and Classy</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/PowerfulClassy-T-Swift-June-2015-post.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2469" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/PowerfulClassy-T-Swift-June-2015-post-240x300.jpg" alt="PowerfulClassy T Swift June 2015 post" width="240" height="300" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/PowerfulClassy-T-Swift-June-2015-post-240x300.jpg 240w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/PowerfulClassy-T-Swift-June-2015-post.jpg 512w" sizes="(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px" /></a>I read this <em>Wired</em> <a title="Wired article: &quot;Taylor Swift is the Queen of the Internet&quot;" href="http://www.wired.com/2015/06/taylor-swift-apple-internet/?mbid=synd_slate" target="_blank" rel="noopener">article, &#8220;Taylor Swift Is The Queen Of The Internet&#8221;</a> last week and it inspired me to write this post. Here are four steps to program your internaGPS<strong><span style="font-size: 11px;">® </span></strong> to be powerful and classy:</p>
<p>1.<strong> Own Your Value and Power</strong></p>
<p>You have power through your character (confidence, trust, authenticity, integrity) and power that is based on what you&#8217;ve accumulated via assets or position (money, societal or organizational influence). Think about the pop/movie stars and organizational/political leaders who have the assets or positional power and yet squander it away because their character is one of low value. Or a friend or leader that you would follow into a burning building based on their character and trust they have earned; that is power.</p>
<p>2. <strong>Be Brave: Take a Stand For What You Believe In</strong></p>
<p>Be brave and speak up, ask for what you need and speak for those that don&#8217;t have the power to do so, take action. Don&#8217;t give up and use that popular saying, &#8220;It is what it is.&#8221; I don&#8217;t like that saying because it is easy and comfortable to sit back and complain. Being brave means feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable to criticism and then doing it anyway.  And it&#8217;s important to do this while you&#8217;re doing number 3 and 4 (below) or it will appear you&#8217;re standing there complaining more loudly or acting out of self serving motives.</p>
<p><strong>3. Empathize &amp; Acknowledge Their Value</strong></p>
<p>My friend who posted the <em>Wired</em> article wrote that Taylor Swift is &#8220;textbook classy.&#8221; Someone who appears classy is someone who is standing up for themselves and what they need while they are sincerely (no empty platitudes) praising the other person (or business) about what they&#8217;re doing well. The author of the article explains that the new Apple music streaming service told all the artists that they would not pay royalties to them during the first three months of their new service when they were offering it free to the public. Swift wrote, &#8220;“I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company (Apple)&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p>If you go the other way and shame them for their terrible choice or decision (even when well justified: Apple has billions in cash and is the largest corporation in the world at $700Billion) then you&#8217;re pushing them into a position of digging in their heels and you may look like a bully.</p>
<p>Did you see that video that was being sent around of the mother grabbing and smacking her son for his rioting in Baltimore? No one described her as classy; there were a lot of cheers for her stopping him but as Dr. Brené Brown writes in her book, <a title="Brene Brown's site" href="http://brenebrown.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Daring Greatly</em></a>, &#8220;&#8230;shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we can change and do better&#8230;Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying&#8221; In her twelve years of research she found that, &#8220;&#8230;there is no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior&#8230;Shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.&#8221; Unfortunately that Mother&#8217;s act of shaming her son will probably result in his committing additional violent acts, not less, and those cheering her on are inadvertently (and naively) adding to the problem.</p>
<p><strong>4. Make a Request or Suggest a Solution That is Win/Win</strong></p>
<p>As I read more about this 25-year old pop star, Taylor Swift, I gain respect for her courage and character in standing up for what she believes in and generously giving to those around her.  Swift wrote, &#8220;&#8230;these are not the complaints of a spoiled, petulant child. These are the echoed sentiments of every artist, writer and producer in my social circles who are afraid to speak up publicly because we admire and respect Apple so much. We simply do not respect this particular call&#8230; Apple with all due respect, it’s not too late to change this policy and change the minds of those in the music industry who will be deeply and gravely affected by this. We don’t ask you for free iPhones. Please don’t ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation.” She also said she would pull her top-of-the-charts album from their service. Within 24-hours Apple changed their policy to pay all the artists their royalties; clearly they can afford it and it is more aligned with their values that Swift so powerfully acknowledges in her request.</p>
<p>Swift&#8217;s words and actions are an inspiring example of owning your own power, standing up for yourself and others who can&#8217;t, recognizing their strengths and then making a request that is win/win. I look forward to where else her powerful internalGPS<strong><span style="font-size: 11px;">® </span></strong> leads her as she continues on her path. I&#8217;m inspired by her leadership; she&#8217;s gained a new follower and fan.</p>
<p>Photo Credit: <a title="Flickr Photo" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/shankbone/4580762872/in/photolist-7YMBdd-2DKC8V-bBCQBa-eaGDAU-dPm4pj-2DKAXD-2DPYWU-2DKA7z-dn1oZx-dPm5CE-9KYxHu-e5TKkk-dPkYUd-boJ2a1-9UXw2b-scn3Yy-boJ5tN-bBCWGX-boJ395-bBCW98-9UUwwX-bBCYHF-bBCX6T-bBCYuk-boJ2f1-e82St2-e5YBJy-dmNCjk-boJn57-dPm2ss-e88ERh-tB5uTN-daHZA2-8fjvAU-jZcweK-rMb71n-eas6LE-82kMdp-tB6f3y-tTR1qv-tB6pxV-sWzoeW-tAZzxA-tAZTpQ-bBDgqP-bBD2sp-boJct9-bBD6nH-boJaSj-bBD5eH" target="_blank" rel="noopener">David Shankbone via Flickr creative commons</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-how-to-be-powerful-and-classy/">internalGPS®  Coach: How to Be Powerful and Classy</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>internalGPS Coach: Finding Your Way To Better</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-way-to-better/</link>
					<comments>https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-way-to-better/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 01:03:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Leadership Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2452</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>It comes natural to me, imagining things better. Not to imply that anything is bad, just that I regularly catch myself imagining them better. It happens in little ways like my friend&#8217;s ladder to look over her block fence at the neighbor&#8217;s yard. My imagination was filled with an interesting yard with beautiful plants and... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-way-to-better/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-way-to-better/">internalGPS Coach: Finding Your Way To Better</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ladder-Flickr-edward-musiak.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2455" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ladder-Flickr-edward-musiak-300x186.jpg" alt="ladder Flickr edward musiak" width="300" height="186" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ladder-Flickr-edward-musiak-300x186.jpg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ladder-Flickr-edward-musiak.jpg 640w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a></p>
<p>It comes natural to me, imagining things better. Not to imply that anything is bad, just that I regularly catch myself imagining them better.</p>
<p>It happens in little ways like my friend&#8217;s ladder to look over her block fence at the neighbor&#8217;s yard. My imagination was filled with an interesting yard with beautiful plants and an area for the big pig that she had heard grunting (the reason for looking). I was surprised to see the brown over-grown mess of a yard when I peaked over (and darn, no pig in sight). Later I wondered at the very different picture I had in my head.</p>
<p>It happens in big ways like my staying in a marriage with a man who I kept seeing with all this potential because I saw glimpses of his genius and big heart. In hindsight, the reality was much different and it was not a good thing for either of us that I preferred staying in my imagination. I&#8217;ve learned a lot (painfully) from this over application of my strength (magically turning it to weakness). One of my favorite quotes: &#8220;When people show you who they are, believe them.&#8221; &#8211; Maya Angelou</p>
<p>And my &#8220;imagining better&#8221; happens in a million different ways in between. I recall being excited every time an reorganization was announced in my past big corporate jobs. Many of my colleagues were worried while I was imaging all the ways it would be better.</p>
<p>It turns out this natural way of seeing the best or imagining better in situations and others is exactly what is needed to be a powerful Coach. Who wouldn&#8217;t want someone coaching you who see&#8217;s your best even when you don&#8217;t see it for yourself? Or who can look at a glimmer of an idea you have and help you imagine all the amazing things you will do.</p>
<p>And yet, it&#8217;s a stretch of my courage to share this with you as it doesn&#8217;t feel like a &#8220;super power&#8221; to me, it feels like its something I just have always done. Naturally. And once I get past that, then I feel like I&#8217;m boasting, &#8220;oh look at me and what I do!&#8221;</p>
<p>Have you ever done that? Downplayed what you do well? It&#8217;s just not helpful, choose to be courageous, be kind and keep sharing your talents; it&#8217;s just so much better.</p>
<p><strong>How can I help you find your way to better?</strong></p>
<p>photo credit: Flickr creative commons, <a title="Ladder Picture on Flickr" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/edwardmusiak/9221597440/in/photolist-f3T6Dj-boSa8X-rNEPwh-nEXRYc-869MC-dmoQxU-boNQSE-axoFTv-6TiPU-pmbHx-oQc6pK-6kzvN8-iKoKeS-a5pXAi-zVmMb-hXyVab-a1U6JB-pJjDLh-dwgnaG-6AyEyc-g332TY-9xEnkJ-5EX882-awiMpo-8KVCRK-8xnoYf-WJ7rE-rLhsPL-cFbXMq-oDn4ye-e55h9f-cdhVgb-76Cdi8-5sNbQx-5Voqp7-5bnduh-aJuPoi-8q2VrC-72w36y-5qrmz9-oN6bco-fhJHxf-rwSouh-iompGL-g1Varp-ey9Qs1-8x4Es6-8BKnVH-savprW-sax3uT" target="_blank" rel="noopener">edward musiak</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/internalgps-coach-finding-your-way-to-better/">internalGPS Coach: Finding Your Way To Better</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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		<title>Using Your internalGPS: Courageously Steering Through Fear</title>
		<link>https://myinternalgps.com/using-your-internalgps-courageously-steering-through-fear/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Paula Shoup]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2015 14:06:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Executive Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness at work & in life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://myinternalgps.com/?p=2425</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>In the training on coaching skills that I give for a client, one of the modules is about your inner critic. It can be a voice to get you going or keep you stuck in fear, depending on what it is &#8220;saying&#8221; and how you&#8217;re interpreting it. It is a voice intended to protect us... <br /><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/using-your-internalgps-courageously-steering-through-fear/" class="button m-t-1">Read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/using-your-internalgps-courageously-steering-through-fear/">Using Your internalGPS: Courageously Steering Through Fear</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2193" src="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1-300x224.jpg" alt="Hazardous Cliffs" width="300" height="224" srcset="https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1-300x224.jpg 300w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1-768x574.jpg 768w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1-1024x765.jpg 1024w, https://myinternalgps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Image-1.jpg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a></p>
<p>In the training on coaching skills that I give for a client, one of the modules is about your inner critic. It can be a voice to get you going or keep you stuck in fear, depending on what it is &#8220;saying&#8221; and how you&#8217;re interpreting it. It is a voice intended to protect us but that also means it keeps us comfortable. Here are some examples:</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh no, don&#8217;t do that, you&#8217;re not strong or smart enough it&#8217;s going to make you look like an idiot and you could even die!&#8221;</p>
<p>This is appropriate if I&#8217;m about to attempt a high dive off a cliff into the water 50 feet below (I saw guys doing this in Aculpulco, Mexico and it was amazing). It keeps me stuck is if this little voice is popping up when I&#8217;m stretching my limits by taking on a new speech assignment that is out of my comfort zone or working up the nerve to call someone who I know is upset with me. I know it seems a bit far fetched that I could die from such a thing, but if the fear is big enough then these feelings can be that strong.</p>
<p>&#8220;You better not do that, you don&#8217;t have enough in savings and you&#8217;ll end up living on the streets as a bag lady.&#8221;</p>
<p>This makes perfect sense to protect me from that sleazy guy asking me to invest in a &#8220;sure thing for easy money&#8221; with most of my savings. It keeps me stuck if it is popping up when I am starting my business that is aligned with my expertise and talents and is backed up with emergency savings and a strong business plan.</p>
<p>Often, I talk with clients who have voices similar to these but the choices are not as obvious. Should I listen to the voice that is telling me to stay in this role for a little long because it will give me more stability and experience on my resume or should I listen to that other voice that is telling me to quit today because I am so unhappy?</p>
<p>In the workshop I facilitate based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown, <a title="The Daring Way Page" href="https://myinternalgps.com/?page_id=2323" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Daring Way</a>, I share several tools for developing a courage practice to move through the fear and how values light the way. Reminding myself of my values keeps me on the right path. I stop and ask, <strong>&#8220;Is fear running the show and keeping me comfortable or am I attempting to move in the direction of where I want to go or who I want to be?&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>I love this article, <a title="Linked In Article" href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/everything-ive-done-my-career-has-terrified-me-aasif-mandvi">&#8220;Everything I&#8217;ve Done in My Career Has Terrified Me.&#8221; </a>Aasif Mandvi explains how his initial response to an opportunity to do a key note speech was plagued by his inner voice saying he wasn&#8217;t funny enough or smart enough but he pushed that voice aside and did the work to prepare for the speech. He goes on to share about how <strong>success is not about finding happiness; it&#8217;s about finding our courageous path,</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;My favorite quote is by Mother Teresa. She is believed to have said: “I do what I do, because there is a Hitler inside of me.” I love that quote because it sums up the human condition. It’s about integrating your dark and your light, it’s about doing battle with the thing in yourself that terrifies you the most, or the thing that you hate about yourself. So the only thing I can say about success is that perhaps we need to stop looking for happiness, money, fame, love, status and recognition and instead go find “the Hitler” inside of ourselves and spend the rest of our lives trying to wrestle him to the ground.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>What do you want to do but feel stuck? Notice if that inner critic is trying to keep you safe or comfortably stuck. Start a list of all the fears that are stopping you: get them out into the light where they will have less power. When they&#8217;re kept hidden down in the dark they keep you stuck and not following your internalGPS.</p>
<p>When I started telling my prior coworkers that I was leaving my good corporate job to start my own business I thought they would say that I was crazy (as some of the voices were saying in my head) but instead they were consistently in awe of my courage and many expressed that they wished they were brave enough to follow that path. Thankfully, with the help of my coach training and a good coach, I was able to focus on my internal supportive voices that kept me following my internalGPS even though I was terrified the whole time.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://myinternalgps.com/using-your-internalgps-courageously-steering-through-fear/">Using Your internalGPS: Courageously Steering Through Fear</a> appeared first on <a href="https://myinternalgps.com"></a>.</p>
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