You’ve read about listening and its’ many virtues in several of my posts so I figured it was time to give speaking up some focus. Not long after I joined the General Manager’s staff at my last corporate job one of my peers said, “You jumped right in and didn’t just sit there like some of the people on our staff do!” He may have regretted these words later when I disagreed with him but I think he appreciated my candor.
Playing Full Out
Speaking up in meetings or classes is a sign that you are “all in” or “playing full out.” Share your ideas and questions so that all will benefit from what is in your head. Admittedly, there have been days when I was just tired and quieter because my brain was not clicking on all cylinders. Notice if you have team members that have become more quiet than usual and gently ask them for their input or ask them later if there is something else going on that they need to talk about. They may have checked out due to frustration and they’re not willing to share their challenges in the group.
“Playing full out” also means that you are willing to risk upsetting someone by expressing what is important and remembering to express positive acknowledgements as much as possible. Strong relationships depend on trust to express ourselves candidly and not bury our needs or concerns. Strong leadership depends on the ability to give regular positive and constructive feedback to inspire performance at higher levels. Research shows that a ratio of seven positive acknowledgements for every one constructive feedback item will keep people inspired (versus down trodden).
Balance
Of course, if you seem to be doing all the talking in the group then ask some open ended questions and pull others in to balance the participation.
Check your comments for how they will be taken to assure your message will match your intent. Humor to keep things light is a good idea, especially self deprecating humor, and be warned of sarcasm as it can be perceived negatively.
Consider whether it is worth speaking up. You may want to skip confronting the big angry guy (in the truck in the next lane) after he just cut you off a block earlier. Sometimes it is in our best interest to stay quiet but do speak up if it is important to give the feedback.
What stories can you share about speaking up? Please comment.
Photo credit: Tambako the Jaguar, cuellar