Do you struggle with this like I do? I sometimes get very attached to the outcome that I have visualized and if it does not materialize then I become frustrated and disappointed. I remember when a friend kindly pointed out that I must let go of my attachment to the outcome. What? Let go of it? But that is what I am so committed to and visualizing and it is helping drive me to be more successful. Does this mean that I don’t have a goal at all? Keep the commitment to the goal but then let go of the result. What a paradox!
Years ago, I remember feeling frustrated and angry with my boss when he was making last minute changes to a presentation that I had labored over for days. The changes were needed but I was very attached to how I had completed the project and did not welcome his changes at the time. Over the years I learned to become less attached to a rigid picture of the final result and found myself making last minute changes based on recent information and easily accepting my Boss’s suggestions at the last minute. I started realizing that flexibility in the outcome was much more productive (and enjoyable) than holding firm to my picture of what the result was supposed to look like.
But, I still catch myself ruminating about whether the outcome will be “good enough.” If I let this go on too long it will slow my progress and undermine my level of commitment. Unfortunately this happens with talented people far too often and the world is missing out on their wonderful gifts because their fear of whether it will be good enough and their attachment to an idealized result stops them from moving forward.
Attachment to desired outcomes can also happen with other people. Think about a colleague, child or friend who has 
great potential but they are holding themselves back. As much as I try, I can not make them live into their potential and I have to let go of my attachment to the outcome I have visualized for them. As a coach, it is critical that I am committed to my client’s success but not attached to it. A good coach will plant seeds and ask powerful questions to help guide their client but then let go of the results that their clients are able to achieve because it is ultimately all up to them.
I briefly spoke about this and several other success strategies in an interview I did with Lisa Thomas for her on-line “P3 Power Boost Magazine” The P3 stands for Power, Passion, and Purpose. P3 is a coaching, training and development company for women by women. I am honored to be this month’s cover story and very grateful 
for Lisa’s complimentary words and the opportunity to share my story. My audio interview is available on the P3 site (linked above) but be warned that it is 49 minutes long; I suggest multi-tasking while you listen!
How do you stay committed and yet not attached to the outcome? Please share in a comment.
photo credit: eschipul, thejasp
I have worked on, and tried to perfect this exercise for the last thirty or so years. I remember the summer when I was about ten. I was building a tree house. It wasn’t really a tree house, because the trees we had were too tall to get up into. Instead of building in a tree, I created long legs and just built a big box about six feet off the ground using the wood from an old outhouse. (yes, I even used the door, and it had a moon cut out of it) I would lie in bed each night and plan what I was going to do the next day to make it better. Inevitably my parents would give me an extra task to do on the farm, and by the time I was able to get to my project, I would not have enough time to accomplish my all grand plans. This disappointed me over and over again until I started to let it go and realize I could not change things that were not under my control. I now realize that my daily habits as an adult started way back then, as a result of not having free reign to do what I wanted with my summer time. I then started lying in bed reviewing what I had accomplished that day, and planning the next day based on what I thought could reasonably be done. I also reviewed my use of time and tried to limit or budget the amount of time I’d spend daydreaming or goofing off.
Relax, and let go. I feel good in my heart at the end of each day, if I can honestly say I did the best I could with what was thrown at me. Who knows where you will end the day, but typically the day seems to be better if you start it with a good plan, and reasonable goals, being open to whatever the outcome may be, and use your time wisely.
Thank You Walt, very well said!
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