I read this Wired article, “Taylor Swift Is The Queen Of The Internet” last week and it inspired me to write this post. Here are four steps to program your internaGPS® to be powerful and classy:
1. Own Your Value and Power
You have power through your character (confidence, trust, authenticity, integrity) and power that is based on what you’ve accumulated via assets or position (money, societal or organizational influence). Think about the pop/movie stars and organizational/political leaders who have the assets or positional power and yet squander it away because their character is one of low value. Or a friend or leader that you would follow into a burning building based on their character and trust they have earned; that is power.
2. Be Brave: Take a Stand For What You Believe In
Be brave and speak up, ask for what you need and speak for those that don’t have the power to do so, take action. Don’t give up and use that popular saying, “It is what it is.” I don’t like that saying because it is easy and comfortable to sit back and complain. Being brave means feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable to criticism and then doing it anyway. And it’s important to do this while you’re doing number 3 and 4 (below) or it will appear you’re standing there complaining more loudly or acting out of self serving motives.
3. Empathize & Acknowledge Their Value
My friend who posted the Wired article wrote that Taylor Swift is “textbook classy.” Someone who appears classy is someone who is standing up for themselves and what they need while they are sincerely (no empty platitudes) praising the other person (or business) about what they’re doing well. The author of the article explains that the new Apple music streaming service told all the artists that they would not pay royalties to them during the first three months of their new service when they were offering it free to the public. Swift wrote, ““I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company (Apple)…”
If you go the other way and shame them for their terrible choice or decision (even when well justified: Apple has billions in cash and is the largest corporation in the world at $700Billion) then you’re pushing them into a position of digging in their heels and you may look like a bully.
Did you see that video that was being sent around of the mother grabbing and smacking her son for his rioting in Baltimore? No one described her as classy; there were a lot of cheers for her stopping him but as Dr. Brené Brown writes in her book, Daring Greatly, “…shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we can change and do better…Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying” In her twelve years of research she found that, “…there is no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior…Shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.” Unfortunately that Mother’s act of shaming her son will probably result in his committing additional violent acts, not less, and those cheering her on are inadvertently (and naively) adding to the problem.
4. Make a Request or Suggest a Solution That is Win/Win
As I read more about this 25-year old pop star, Taylor Swift, I gain respect for her courage and character in standing up for what she believes in and generously giving to those around her. Swift wrote, “…these are not the complaints of a spoiled, petulant child. These are the echoed sentiments of every artist, writer and producer in my social circles who are afraid to speak up publicly because we admire and respect Apple so much. We simply do not respect this particular call… Apple with all due respect, it’s not too late to change this policy and change the minds of those in the music industry who will be deeply and gravely affected by this. We don’t ask you for free iPhones. Please don’t ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation.” She also said she would pull her top-of-the-charts album from their service. Within 24-hours Apple changed their policy to pay all the artists their royalties; clearly they can afford it and it is more aligned with their values that Swift so powerfully acknowledges in her request.
Swift’s words and actions are an inspiring example of owning your own power, standing up for yourself and others who can’t, recognizing their strengths and then making a request that is win/win. I look forward to where else her powerful internalGPS® leads her as she continues on her path. I’m inspired by her leadership; she’s gained a new follower and fan.
Photo Credit: David Shankbone via Flickr creative commons