In my coaching and speaking I refer to an experiment where one person is given twenty dollars and told that they decide how much to give to a second person. The second person has one chance to say yes or no. The catch is that both people have to end up with some money or neither receive any. Earlier this week I did this with two volunteers at a speech I gave at a professional association conference. The volunteer […]
One of the most common challenges that I hear from my clients is about how to give feedback for accountability that will result in a change of behavior. In her book, “Daring Greatly” Dr. Brené Brown explains that both giving and receiving feedback is an act of vulnerability. It is very tempting and easy to “armor up” with protective anger, self-righteousness or threats when giving feedback and unfortunately this rarely results in the desired change in behavior. I know I […]
No matter who you are, what you do, or where you want to go, you absolutely cannot do it alone. You need relationships. And if you want to have a journey that is more successful, fulfilling, smoother and more enjoyable, then you need to have great relationships with the people all around you. At work. At home. Even in the line at the store or in the car next to you on the backed-up freeway. Yes, even those strangers […]
1. Try and make them feel better by giving an example of how much worse it could be. Business Example: “The failures of your product on our manufacturing line are causing us large increases in scrap costs.” A horrible reply would be, “Well it could be much worse, we could not be delivering at all” or “The failures are even worse over at company B.” Personal Example: “I am so upset, I just found out that my friend […]
A common way that I get lost and my clients get lost is in feeling confused or overwhelmed with large amounts of data or many different options. One of my favorite tools for cutting through the confusion is a mind map. I found this great mind map (pictured below) of all the different benefits and uses of a mind map on Flickr, click on this link to see the detail, The Mind Map by Zapckr on Flickr. The simple process […]
Sometimes I have a client who is really stuck. Stuck in the grief of a transition from a career ending or feeling like it is going nowhere, or a relationship ending or being stuck in the confusion of which way to turn. Sometimes it is perfectly fine to stay there and keep putting one foot in front of the other, other times you need to do something to shake things up. You don’t want to set up camp and […]
I love learning about people who have blown away their limits and their life path makes me question my internalGPS®. I discovered Russel Redenbaugh via this article, “True Grit, Blinded and Gifted” in Forbes magazine (linked) and then watched this TED talk to hear his story from the stage. It shook me up. Russel Redenbaugh went from being a “mediocre at best” (his own description) 16-year old to a very successful adult after a tragic accident with a model […]
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not a truth.” – Marcus Aurelius I feel grateful and fortunate to have numerous friends and colleagues to bounce ideas off of and that I almost always get a wide range of opinions about what to do. One of my biggest realizations was that their opinions are just that, and not facts. This can be challenging because often their opinions conflict or are given […]
One morning at the small gym where I do my exercise “torture” there were a couple new faces on the treadmill next to me. They came in and didn’t say a word. I debated about whether to say anything; maybe they’re happy in their silence? I decided to say good morning. They each smiled and replied back with a good morning too and I felt better that we had that small connection. It doesn’t feel like much, but when […]
“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” – Sally Field Sometimes, in my preparations to give a speech, I catch myself in a spiral of concerns about whether the audience will like my points or if what I’m saying will resonate at all or if the information I share will be relevant enough for them and on and on. In the best of times, I catch the spiral before it goes too […]
